Monday, May 12, 2008

Why would you do that?

Brought on by this story about a boy left alone in a car while his parents went shopping, I feel very annoyed at the fact that people do this sort of thing all the time and feel a rant coming on. Why would you do that? Why would you leave your precious child ALONE in a HOT CAR while you do your shopping? I'm not a parent, but it makes no sense to me that you would want to put your kid at risk of kidnapping, over-heating, dehydration, or even escaping from the car and getting lost.

I guess this story bothered me so much because I know it happens all the time, like it's no big deal at all. This weekend alone, I saw it happen twice. Once Dave and I walked past a car with kids sitting alone in it in the Smith's parking lot. Then, later on at Target, I saw a whole SUV full of young children without a parent. The worst part of this? THE CAR WAS RUNNING!

It doesn't seem right to me that people would do this to their kids. Just take your kids INSIDE THE STORE with you, or leave them AT HOME with someone watching them. Am I out of line?

4 comments:

kenna said...

Not out of line at all. I cringe and then boil over when I hear stories like these. Parents can be so damn lazy! You know what? These parents will probably try to sue because their window was busted open to rescue their kid.

Seriously, I feel a long, raving/ranting post coming on about this.

ASININE I TELL YOU!

These insane so called parents are allowed to procreate. It's so wrong.

Unknown said...

i agree with you; it's stupid. on the other hand, we really have no comprehension what those parents were thinking, or any parent, when we wonder why they did that. it's sad but true: all parents do stupid things. it's just that most of the time, the kids survive. when isaiah stuck a crochet hook in a light socket, i was able to nervously laugh about it with friends. but if something serious had happened to him, i have no doubt that everyone i know would have been wondering why i'd ever been allowed to have a child. the results largely dictate what we think about these actions.

in the case of the people with the SUV full of kids, they probably had the car on to keep the air on, thus eliminating the big reason why people are warned not to leave their kids in the car. they probably thought that nobody would kidnap so many kids at once (probably true), and that if all the kids were in the car together, the kids would be happier, and the parents would definitely be happier, than trying to grapple with having a bunch of kids in a grocery store (many parents' worst nightmare). seen in this light, perhaps it looks a little bit better? i still wouldn't do it, but i could see it.

whenever a child is snatched, or drowns, or burns up in a car, i have to wonder how these parents could be so stupid. and then i realize that there are so many factors i'm not aware of. for one thing, we think we're invincible in our culture. very few of us know somebody who has lost a child. it's not like a third-world country where you're constantly aware of that potential. we never think it could happen to US. maybe to other people, but certainly not to US. if the phone rings while our kid is in the pool or bath, OUR child would never drown during the 30 seconds we run in to grab the phone. until they do.

there's a socioeconomic factor, too. plenty of parents can't afford something as simple-sounding as leaving their kids at home while they run errands. and while i don't have comprehension of it myself, i have many friends with kids so problematic, so troublesome, so difficult, that i don't know how they survive the fight. and leaving a kid in the car on a cool day when you're only going grocery shopping? i think the only thing stopping some parents from doing that is wondering what people would think. a worn-out, exhausted, desperate mother may not be thinking too clearly when she has to buy bread, can't get a sitter, the father's never home, and she thinks, it's not even that hot out, surely he'd be okay if i just left him here for a while. again, i would never do this myself, but i can definitely see it. i have two great, relatively easy children, and a very involved husband, but i can understand that desperation.

does any of this make it right? absolutely not. but i don't think it's as simple as saying that these parents are stupid, or lazy, or wondering why they should be allowed to have a child.

Karen said...

I think both of these comments have truth to them. My instinct tells me that there is no excuse for doing that to your kids, and I still feel that it isn't right. But I think I can understand why someone would do it. As older children, my sisters and I would often CHOOSE to wait in the car while my mom would run in the store...not necessarily the SMARTEST choice, but hey.

I still think that it's a bad idea, but I see why it happens: certainly it simplifies things for a mother if she doesn't have to drag her kids into a store where they will scream and beg for things at the register when all the mother needed was a loaf of bread, etc.

Unknown said...

yeah...like i said, i still hate it, it still makes me angry, it's still easy for me to pass judgment, and it's still so, so wrong, and i'd still never do it myself, but after experiencing how hard parenthood really is, i have to temper it with the slightest amount of compassion. i guess i just don't want to believe that parents would make such bad decisions unless they were not completely "with it."